Thor's Kitchen Adventures
by MK123
Summary: Thor's first dinner with the Avengers. Steve askes him to set the table so he does Asgard style. Thor also has some isues with the kitchen.
1. Dinner

"Dinner's ready," Steve Rogers called from the kitchen, where he had been cooking dinner for the Avengers. "Thor did you finish setting the dinner table yet?"

"I have friend Steve." Thor bellowed back to him. "Is the feast finished?

"The food is finished but it is not a feast Thor, it's just dinner," Steve replied entering the dinning room his hands full. He set down the plate of steaks and the bowl of mashed potatoes, before going back in to the kitchen and getting the green beans, basket of hot rolls and butter.

"Hey Capsicle, Jarves told me you made dinner," Tony Stark said swinging into the dinning room and plopping down on the closest chair. "I didn't even know I had food in the house."

"You didn't. I had Clint and Natasha buy the food," Steve replied also sitting down at the table.

They were shortly joined by Dr. Bruce Banner, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.

"This looks great Steve," Bruce remarked.

"Let's eat," Thor shouted.

"Indoor voice please," Clint said leaning away from the over exuberant god of thunder.

"Steve," Tony remarked. "Where are the forks?"

"What," Steve asked looking down at the table. "Thor I thought you said you had set the table?"

"I did," Thor picked up the steak knife and stabbed a piece of meat bringing it to his plate.

"Thor, here on Earth we eat with forks not knives," Natasha replied.

"What is this fork you speaketh of," he asked looking around the table.

"The ones in the silverware drawer," Tony remarked pointing towards a chest of drawers in the corner of the room.

"Thou weareth silver?"

"No, we don't wear silver. Silverware are utensils."

"Utensils," Thor rubbed his head quizzically.

"Tools you eat with Point Break," Tony said.

"I'll get the forks," Clint said getting up and going to the drawer. He opened it and pulled out six forks before handing them around. Thor looked at it oddly.

"Here," Steve said holding up his own fork and demonstrating how to cut the food into bite sized pieces with his knife. Using his fork he picked up a square of beef and put it his mouth. Thor copied him.

"This is a much better way to eat," Thor bellowed happily using his fork to scoop up some mashed potatoes. "I think I shall have to introduce these forks to Asgard when I go home."


	2. Microwave

TV/ Microwave

"Thor, why are you sitting in front of the microwave," Tony asked as he swung into the kitchen.

Thor looked at Tony from his position in front of the microwave, "What is this microwave thou speaketh of?"

"You're sitting in front of it."

"Steve told me about a magic machine called a tellyvison. It has screen and knob like this one."

"Thor, that's a microwave. It heats things up."

"No wonder no little people showed up."

"Let me show you where the actual TV is Thor." Tony grabbed Thor's arm and led him out of the kitchen.

Peeps/Microwave

"Hey Thor do you want to see something really cool," Tony asked.

"What are thou doing with those oddly colored animals?"

"Animals? Oh you mean the Peeps. They are marshmallows, I'm going to heat them up in the microwave," Tony replied.

"If thou are heating them up then why did thou say they would be cool?"

"Cool is an expression. It means I want to show you something awesome! Come on," Tony seized Thor's arm and dragged him to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen Tony got out a plate and put a green chick in the center of it. He placed the plate in the microwave and closed the door. "Now I just set it for thirty seconds and we watch the fun." He set the time when suddenly Steve called out from the other room. "Coming Capsicle." He turned and went out of the kitchen.

"Hmmm," Thor said rubbing his beard. He opened the door and stuffed all the peeps from the bag into the microwave. He then pushed a few random buttons trying to find the start. Suddenly the machine sprang to life. He watched with widening eyes as the plate spun around. The peeps started growing bigger and bigger. Frantically Thor fumbled with the machine trying to stop it. Finally he gave a mighty heave and yanked the microwave off the counter. It stopped suddenly and he was so startled he dropped it with a crash.

Tony and Steve rushed in and took in the mess. There was marshmallow goo all over the floor and Thor and a cracked open microwave sitting at his feet. "Thor what is going on here," Steve asked.

"The peeps went boom. Sorry I got this stuff on thine floor," Thor said apologetically.

"It is alright Thor," Tony said. "I didn't like that microwave anyways. Just do me a favor and never microwave peeps again."

"Alright friend Tony I won't."

Eggs/Microwave

Thor was hungry. What he wanted was those white thingies that Tony cooked for breakfast. He opened the fridge door and picked one up. He tried to crack it. The white thingy oozed all over Thor's hand.

He tried again fascinated with the way the thingy was separated into white and yellow parts. After he got the same results the third time he decided he needed to cook it.

There was one problem however. Ever since his last incident with the stove, he wasn't allowed to use it without adult supervision, so Thor placed the white thingy in the microwave hoping for the same results. His theory did not work. Instead the white thingy started shaking and exploded covering the inside of the microwave with white bits and clear goo with streaks of yellow in it.

He heard pounding feet and quickly looked around for a cleaning cloth. He seized it and opening the door tried to wipe t out. The mess got worse and Tony came running it.

"What is going on in here? Jarves informed me that someone was misusing the microwave again."

"I'm sorry friend Tony. I was only trying to cook these white thingies."

"You mean you were trying to cook hardboiled eggs in the microwave?"

"Yes?"

Tony slapped a hand to his face. "Thor, new rule no putting eggs in the microwave."

Yogurt/Microwave

Thor loved skyr. Unfortunately Midgard's New York did not offer this dish. With some research, with Clint's help, the Avengers had decided that yogurt was similar enough and had bought some for him. The yogurt was cold as he removed the container from the refrigerator. He opened a drawer and removed a metal spoon then stuck it into the food. He took a bit and wrinkled his nose. He eyed the microwave wearily then looked up.

"Jarves can I microwave this yogurt?"

"I don't see any reason you can't," the AI replied. "But why would you want to microwave yogurt, Mr. Odinson?"

"It is to cold," Thor said as he opened the door and stuck the whole container in. He pushed the one minute button stark had installed for him and waited. Suddenly a cloud of thick black smoke rose from the machine. "Uh oh, Jarves."

"What is it Mr. Odinson?"

"The microwave is smoking." Suddenly it burst into flames, the smoke detector went off and the sprinklers went on.

"Jarves what is happening" Thor cried out.

"What in tarnation is going one here," Clint asked as he entered the kitchen. Immediately he started coughing. "Holy smoke."

"I don't think the smoke is holy friend Clint," Thor said.

"What happened?"

"I put yogurt in the microwave."

"Was that all you put in there."

"I also put in the spoon."

"Jarves why didn't you stop him?"

"I'm sorry sir, but he said he was putting in the yogurt not the spoon."

"I put in both," Thor said proudly.

"Thor you are no longer allowed to use the microwave."

Author's Notes: Yes it was supposed to be a one shot but I was inspired by your reviews to write some more. I could not pick one of the microwave stories to share so I gave you guys all of them. Hope you enjoyed.

Also:

Skyr is a cultured dairy product, somewhat similar to strained yoghurt. Traditionally, it is served cold with sugar and cream.


End file.
